I feel like I spend half my life mentally uncomfortable.
Worried I’ve offended someone… or everyone.
Feeling like I need to figure everything out.
Needing to be right.
Worried about all kinds of irrational OCD things I don’t ever plan to blog about.
I used to worry I didn’t have enough ‘faith’ to be saved.
I wondered if I would never get married.
I fretted about money.
I worried I would never fit in.
All of these discomforts are life draining. They are rooted in not trusting Jesus… In not letting Him be my source of LIFE.
There is another kind of discomfort that I find more… useful. Life giving even.
This discomfort knows that I can’t possibly know it all- that there is always something new to be challenged in.
This discomfort happens when I hear people say things like ‘The Bible Clearly Says…’
It happens when I hear scientific information that conflicts with what I was taught about the Bible.
It happens when I hear the ‘secondary issues’ made into the ‘primary issues’ in the faith.
And it happens when I hear of people who lose their faith because they don’t feel they can be intellectually honest and faithful at the same time.
These are the discomforts I will get comfortable in.
It means inner tension. It means being wrong sometimes. It means throwing my hands up in the air and saying ‘I JUST DON’T KNOW!!’ because sometimes I just don’t know.
It means trusting God can handle my questions. It means trusting God when I’m not certain. It means being fearless in the face of the unknown.
It means wrestling with God as an act of faith.