This is the first topic in a series about issues I’m ‘in process on’ or have been in process on in the past. See the first post for a better explanation on what I mean by ‘in process’.
When I said that my first ‘In Process’ topic would be homosexuality, I wasn’t thinking about the Supreme Court hearing the Prop 8 case today. Honestly, politics isn’t even the main thing on my mind when I thing about the ‘Gay’ issue. Today certainly has given me some emotional fuel however, so here goes… it’s gonna be a rambley piece.
First, disclaimers and definitions:
1. I don’t hate you. I say this because what I am about to write is likely to offend some people on both my ‘right’ and ‘left’.
2. These are my thoughts in process. Not a treatise to never be revised.
1. Gay/Homosexual Some one who is sexually attracted to the same sex (and not the opposite sex).
2. Side A- The position that God blesses committed monogamous, same sex (sexual) relationships.
3. Side B- The position that God calls gay Christians to life-long celibacy.
(For more info on the ‘Side A’, ‘Side B’ thing go here.)
4. SSA- Same Sex Attraction
5. SSM- Same Sex Marriage
So today my facebook news feed filled up with thoughts about marriage equality. Lots of red boxes with equal signs. Some pro-‘traditional’ marriage pics. Lots of comments and blogs.
My heart is kind of heavy. Not because of what the ruling might be. Honestly, I’m not that uptight about the ruling. Regardless of what happens in the next several months, I’m pretty darn sure that gay marriage will be legal in most states within the next ten years.
No, my heart is heavy because of the church.
Because of how we’ve decided it’s our job to do political war, making gay people enemy #1.
Because we talk, lecture, and pontificate, but don’t LISTEN.
Because of how we’ve treated the gay people in our midst.
Because of how we’ve treated the gay people ‘out there’.
Because of our deafness to how our actions and arguments are heard and felt.
Because of our protest signs.
Because we are so busy hollering about their speck of saw dust, we don’t see the 2X4 in our own eye.
Because we’ve used the Bible to clobber people instead of wisely love them.
And, no, clobbering with a Bible verse and wisely loving are not the same.
Because we’ve told falsehoods (knowingly or not) to help make our case.
Falsehoods like ‘People choose to be gay.’ or ‘People aren’t born that way.’ or ‘Just go to this Ex Gay Ministry… they will fix you.’ or ‘You must need to pray more or repent of something, then your SSA will go away.’
And then our falsehoods get exposed. And undermine not only our ‘case’ against gay marriage, but our reputation and the reputation of Jesus.
So maybe it is time Christians sit down and shut up and just listen for once.
Listen to the stories of Christians who have come out.
See to the tears and wounds of those shunned.
Read about suicide rates among gay teens.
Do a little research on ‘Ex Gay’ ministries and their actual results.
Imagine if you were gay, or if your child was.
Try and understand how ‘Side A’ churches interpret anti-gay-sex passages.
Discover that it’s not all black and white.
Because it’s not all black and white.
For me, I honestly, fully understand why most Evangelical Christians don’t believe the Bible endorses same-sex-sex. I actually happen to agree, even having heard and understood ‘pro-gay’ interpretations. From what I see, with what I believe is good interpretation, I can not endorse same-sex-sex…
Though I would like to.
It would feel far more compassionate.
But at this point, with the information I have, and believing the Bible is authoritative, I just can’t. I believe it’s what the Bible says.
But you know what the Bible DOESN’T say?
It doesn’t say that you can pray the gay away.
It doesn’t say that gay people choose SSA.
It doesn’t say that SSA is a sin.
It doesn’t say that homosexuality is the result of bad parenting.
It’s doesn’t say we are supposed to fight for a ‘biblical’ definition of marriage in a secular society.
It doesn’t say that gay people deserve disdain or harsh judgement.
It doesn’t say that committed same sex companionships are bad. (You know, the kind where you commit to each other ‘where you go, I will go… your people will be my people… only death will separate us.’… Those words spoken from one woman to another that we took and made in to ‘traditional’ wedding vows.)
Those things are all worth considering when we want to make it all black and white and get up on our high horse about how ‘the gays are destroying the country.’ Maybe we should consider instead if we are destroying the reputation of Jesus and doing violence to the Kingdom of God.